7 Comments
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Todd Anderson's avatar

I enjoyed this! I like how you balance the hard science with the simpler setting and mindset without overwhelming the story.

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LiudmilaBrus1's avatar

Thanks! I’m happy that the chapter length didn’t put you off)).

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Anne-Marie Hubert's avatar

Great worldbuilding and character building for what I assume are the main two characters. Very well written chapter.

I do wonder if the tension could come in bit earlier and maybe some of the back story later on to help grab the readers' attention. It does depend on your targeted audience, of course.

The world is super interesting and both characters are very compelling. Great job.

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Liudmila Brus's avatar

Thanks for your comment. Maybe, I’ll try what you suggest, because it’s a beta which precedes the official release, and I appreciate everyone’s opinion.

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Allen Kwon's avatar

This chapter does a great job with atmospheric worldbuilding—dense, textured, and emotionally taut. Rakhmanov’s quiet strength, Randy’s growing curiosity, and that final flash of unexpected violence… every beat held weight. I felt like I was reading Bradbury with a sharper edge. Absolutely haunting.

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Liudmila Brus's avatar

Thanks a lot! Sounds so motivating!

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William White's avatar

This is like a painting I would hang on my wall.”The pitch-black seawater seemed to boil in the freezing air, crashing against the shore and dragging the volcano-born pebbles with a deep roar.”

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